Beneath the tree

Checking in every morning - staying in the moment

I’ve just come away from exercising beneath the tree.

At the bottom of my garden is a sacred little spot. I’ve piled up crockery sculptures there, put ferns around them. There’s a sculpture there I made in art therapy when I realised I wasn’t going to have another child. It’s like a Victorian ‘in memoriam’ garden. It’s also completely private, hidden by a trellis and surrounded by shrubs, noone can see me when I’m in my secret, sacred spot, beneath the tree that comes over from the neighbouring garden.

I’ve made a commitment to myself. It’s there that I will go to heal every morning. I wrote about my knee - I need to heal it, to stretch it, to exercise each day. So this morning, I spread my yoga mat, plant my bare feet on it. I face the direction of the rising sun, and I do a sun salutation flow. I did it yesterday morning, and creaked my way through. This morning it’s already easier.

Strange, the starting of new habits. As soon as it’s easier, I’m almost tempted to give in. “You see, you don’t need to do it this morning” my inner saboteur is telling me. No - I have to take her by the shoulders and give her a shake. It’s because I did it yesterday that it’s easier. If I do it every day it will be easier and easier. My inner narrative. Important to word it right.

The acacia over the fence is lime green against the blue sky, in this late blast of summer. I’m thinking already of deep autumn, winter days to come. I hope I can continue to check in. Again - the inner saboteur - “no point in starting, you’ll never keep it up through December”. Goodness, why think ahead? I’ve done it today. Moment by moment. I just need to stay in the moment. Then I’ll be able to do it tomorrow, and the next day. But only if I stay in the now.

Looking at a bird wheeling over head, is that reallly so hard to do?

Whatever you do today, take care of you.

xxx